Don't Be a Creep

Alright people,

let's do a quick round of Thursday Travel Tips. 

I kind of dropped off the face of the earth with this series,

but after my latest stint in LA last weekend,

I just felt an obligation to share something. 

When you go to Hollywood,

please don't be that tourist that buys a map of "celebrity homes". 

It's creepy. 

Like stalkerish creepy.

Know what I mean? 

I understand... you're probably intrigued by the size and landscaping patterns of George Clooney's front yard,

but here's what:

his fence is probably so high that you won't be able to see anything anyway,

and instead you'll just look like a silly fool riding around in one of those topless minivans (see photo above). 

Editor's note: if you've made the mistake of taking this tour in the past,

just do me us both a favor and never mention it, ok? 

Now that the pep-talk is over,

I would just like to note that other forms of creepiness are totally acceptable. 

If you're like me,

and feel obliged to make inappropriate sex jokes whenever an opportunity presents itself,

then you're going to love staying at The Standard. 

I meaaaan it's pretty happenin' and all,

but the best part is the fact that there are sex joke "booby" traps all over that place (pun intended, tee hee). 

I took photos of the evidence to share with ya'll:

Yeah, that's what she said.  

And again...  

Aaaaand that's what HE said. Now just to clarify, this switch does not control what most guys wish it would control... just the AC people, just the AC..

All of these props sure lead to a good time, hence our silly faces.
Oh, and the lotion is the bomb.com. No other reason for that picture, really. 

The mini bar is stocked with some of my favorites. Pretty handy if you get back to your room around 6 a.m. Just sayin.

Oh and let me tell you a thing or two about the room service.
Thing 1: The ranch dressing is the BEST I've ever had.
Thing 2: There's a good chance that your meal will be delivered by the same handsome fella that brought us our turkey club. Yum. 

Oh and if you were wondering,

this IS the same hotel that Carrie and the girls stayed at when they came to Hollywood,

and there really ARE live models in the tank above the front desk. 

Pretty sweet, huh?